Keeping Zen After a Relationship’s End

Come February, we immediately think of Valentine’s Day. TJ Klune’s book entitled “The House in the Cerulean Sea” reminds us of the misconceptions that love can only be the “romantic type.” However, even if we’re surrounded by all sorts of love from family and friends, one would think a romantic partner would complete the picture. All the more longing and aching when romantic love breaks, burns, and ends.

How do other people, with their fair share of love affairs, keep calm and centered after love that once flickered? Let’s find out how to channel our emotions positively.

Meditative Healing & Breathing

One doesn’t really need a breakup coach, right? There are several guided meditation videos for healing, closure, and even for overthinking. According to the National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH), practicing meditation helps alleviate anxiety and depression, and sleep deprivation. A 2014 analysis of 7 trials in 3,515 test subjects posits that mindfulness meditation sessions moderately improve psychological conditions.

Pranayama, a major element of Yoga, is the practice of breath regulation. After a breakup, it’s normal to leave things unsaid, overwhelmed with emotions. Inhaling and exhaling in a particular sequence can make you feel light and calm.

It’s a mind-body connection like when you take a placebo pill after the batch of real contraceptive pills runs out. The supply of oxygen while getting rid of the toxins also serves to remove the remnants of a toxic relationship.

These breathing techniques include but are not limited to victorious breath or ujjayi, bellows breath or bastrika, and breath retention or kumbhaka pranayama.

Breathing exercises and meditation practice instill hope that everything will be alright. It’s a form of complementary medicine.

Rediscovering your hobbies

It’s not bad to dwell and magnify on the good memories to dilute the bitterness. However, you want to be intentional and purposeful. Concentrate your energy on rediscovering developing hobbies. Yes, you have your other circles and a go-to place for peace and serenity, but being creative helps.

Have an artsy side? Want to learn a new instrument? Interested in embroidery? Baking, perhaps? Keep your creative juices flowing. It’s important because while it’s a skill to separate your personal and professional life, ending a relationship results in a work slump. In other words, the key is to know and love yourself. A little self-indulgence didn’t harm anyone.

Discover what makes you tick or excited. For instance, being exemplary at work, good at athletics, and having a good relationship with your family make a well-rounded person. Read a millionaire mindset book collection or travel alone, especially if it’s outside your comfort zone.

In this way, your next relationship won’t be your world. It is hard to get attached to a person who has no clear, sincere intentions about you. This time, you’ll be wiser and figure they are not worth it. You are your longest and best companion.

Let yourself grieve

Sounds counter-intuitive, but grieving is part of the process.

Don’t try to suppress your emotions — anger, disgust, sadness — because it only means you care. Cry your eyes out to your dependable confidants.

Do what your past lover considered a pet peeve or stopped you from because it annoyed him at his wit’s end. 

Don’t go out and just have a lazy day. If your ex loved to push you out of your comfort zone, take a moment to relax, even in your bedroom. Cry if you want to.

Not all people who grieve cry, though.

If giving gifts was his love language, dispose of them and not necessarily in a “just another picture to burn” style, try Marie Kondo’s way.

If he was into acts of service and quality time, go on a date by yourself and discover what you actually like, not what your previous partner insisted you secretly liked but too shy to order.

When he smothered you with too many words of affirmation, do that to yourself, too, and manifest that things will turn around better this time. 

Lastly, if nothing feels like the way he/she caresses your hair and skin, beat that with physical touch from all other people who love you. Not just physically, let them sink in emotionally and spiritually.

Who says Gary Chapman’s five love languages only apply to romantic relationships?

For overall wellbeing and healing after a breakup, alternative medicine also has something to say…

Naturopathic quick fix?

Meditation and exercise are covered by naturopathic medicine, but that’s not all. The objective of this medical alternative is the enhancement of overall well-being. Although, in the pursuit of science,  physicians diagnose and treat our bodies with the newest technological advancements in the industry, naturopathic medicine — also science-based — contributes to healing the root causes of an illness that may be overlooked by cutting-edge robotic or electronic treatments like the psychological and structural balance of a person. Theoretical models are also developed to integrate naturopathic medicine with  modern medicine and reconcile their diverging philosophies so it’s a win-win for holistic development.

Naturopathic medicine encompasses acupuncture, massage, therapies, and wellness counseling. From the root word itself, we can derive that nature’s therapeutic effects stood the test of time since the 8th century for context. 

It’s easy to see how this kind of medicine plays a role when you’re moving on. A naturopathic expert will ask about your lifestyle routine, health history, and stress points. Not so much on invasive and radioactive procedures, naturopathic treatments center on education and prevention.

Complementary medicine is a component of naturopathic healing. It consists of homeopathy, hypnotherapy, biofeedback, and relaxation techniques.

Of course, science continues to evolve and we reap its benefits but nature is arguably still the best medicine. From allergies to ‘chronic’ heartbreak, the wonders of naturopathic medicine have a wide array of healthy options in-store.  

Keeping grounded and centered after a relationship’s end isn’t as simple but doable. Well, if you loved truly, the thoughts won’t vanish with one sequence of cat and cow. Trust the process and live life with hope for the future.