What Fathers Say About Their Fathers

          A young man admitted that he was well into his 30’s when he learned to love his dad for who he was and not for what he thought he should be.  He remembers his father as a good man, a hard worker, volunteer, churchgoer and encourager, but thought he needed more from him like more hugs, tenderness and sit-down-talks about feelings.  He was angry when comparing him to others and blamed some of his life choices on his perception that his father wasn’t there enough.

          He now realizes that God knew long before we showed up on this earth that they’d be a family.  God knew the man’s father had strengths and struggles that would come together to create a relationship that would be more a journey if they allowed it.  Those things tended to grow the two of them more and more into the individuals He created them to be. Throughout the years he came to realize that his dad did the best he could with what he had at the time as a father.  

          Aren’t we all in this same spot?  We aren’t born into the perfect family, with all the perfect opportunities.  Our fathers can only do for us using what they have available at the time. Fathers care more for their children than many can show and strive to show that love in different ways than we might imagine.  This young man now considers his father one of his very best friends.

          Considering all the kinds of fathers out there, we all have our own story, but one thing they all share is that no matter what their personalities, gifts, struggles, or circumstance, every one of them is called to live God’s way.  When this is followed, their families are blessed, communities are strengthened and a ripple of goodness happens in the world.

          Bringing up a child with healthy boundaries and godly discipline is not an easy task.  We all have frustrating moments, so our fathers have had to stand firm in the truth but never critical and demanding.  The father’s actions speak volumes to his children, even if they can’t articulate their feelings easily. When our father’s choose the right path, our family is blessed.

          Even if your father is no longer with you, don’t you have another dad figure in your life to honor?  Perhaps a husband, relative or a close friend who deserves a thank- you. They need to be reminded we are strengthened by their presence and we honor who they are and who they are becoming through the grace of God.

–Dr Fredda Branyon