Don't Be Lonely | Dr. Fredda Branyon

What would you choose, money, high paying job, or love? What makes us happiest in life? Some people may say lots of money, winning the lottery. Some people may say fame and fortune. The magazine, Money, reported that when asked, most people would choose love over money. Hands down, surveys show that friends and family are the real prize. Yet even though our need to connect is innate, some of us always go home alone.

You may have people around you throughout the day or you may even be in a lifelong marriage, yet you may feel a deep down loneliness. Not surprisingly, isolation can affect one’s mental and physical health to great detriment.

The wonderful Mother Teresa of Calcutta said, “ The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.” She should have known because she was in the middle of loneliness. Her kindness and smiles touched so many lives.

Loneliness doesn’t just affect you emotionally but it can keep you awake at night. A study published by the American Psychological Society compared the loneliness reported by college students. These students were measured by the degree of loneliness they experienced. The study revealed that the lonelier the students felt, the more they had broken sleep at night.

Another study compared the degree of loneliness reported by adult participants in rural South Dakota. Higher loneliness scores were linked to higher levels of sleep disturbances.

Ok, we understand there are studies for everything. If you have ever experienced loneliness, you know you do not need a study to tell you how lonely or why you are lonely. But wouldn’t it be nice to have a magic wand to wave and become happy! Let’s face it, life is not always fair. Things happen to people that shouldn’t and I have found that sometimes doing the right thing turns out to be the wrong thing. But life has to go on.

So what can we do to help the loneliness? We have all heard the phrase, “To have a friend is to be a friend.” Thats true Im sure but you have to first find someone eligible to be that friend. You have to first be your own friend and like who you are.

Here is what I try to do. I remind myself every day that I am God’s child and I deserve to be happy. I make myself smile when I truly do not feel like smiling. I try to say kind words instead of negative toxic words. I try to love myself. When we love ourselves, we can find the strength to carry on and make a difference for another lonely person. The next time you go to the grocery store, smile at someone who looks down. They may be lonelier than you could imagine. Your smile may even keep them from contemplating suicide. We never know what goes on in the minds of people.

When we get all of our attention off of ourselves and onto someone else, that is like a spoonful of medicine. Some people call it Karma- do good and it will come back to you. The Bible says do good and it will come back to you one hundred fold. Another reason to smile and say kind things is because its like looking into a mirror and it bounces back to you. I do not understand it, but we are all connected in some strange way. When we feel down, others around us do also. When we feel happiness, the ones around us feel it also. In physics we are taught that everything and everyone is made of energy. That is scientific proof.

Let’s try to make a difference in our own lives by re-creating ourselves, strive to be the best we can, and understand that life is just not always fair. Being the best we can be does not mean we have to make a lot of money or be the next President. Life is what we make it. Peace of mind is the greatest thing we can own. If we have to pick up the pieces everyday, lets do it. If we can come to believe that, then we help others by loving them. We should never bestow our judgement on them but try to understand and give them a smile and kind words. Lets try to get rid of as much loneliness as we can, starting with one person at a time.

http://www.webofloneliness.com/

http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2011/05/6-tips-for-battling-loneliness.html

Click here for our Blog Disclaimer.